When Your Teen's Friends Give You Jitters: Things Every Parent Should DoWhy Adolescents' Need Friends
Why adolescents make the kind of friends that they do? What kind of relationship a parent should share with their teen's friends? And, what should you do when you dislike some of the friends of your teenager? These are some of the issues that we are going to examine in the next few paragraphs. But, parents do have some indirect control over the kind of choices their teenager is going to make in choosing his or her friends, as was noted from a study of adolescents, conducted at Ohio State University. Parents Do Have ControlIt was noted that generally the kind of relationship that a teen shares with his friends depends upon the quality of the one that he shares with his parents. If he shares a good and open relationship with her parents, her relations with her friends will be mostly cordial. A good quality relationship is one in which there are activities which involve all the family members, channels of communication are open, and the affection for each other is expressed freely. If the relationship of an adolescent with her parents is full of conflicts and, then she is more likely to choose friends who are delinquent, or show some negative character traits. Parents also influence the choice of their teen's friends through their expectations. If parents moved to their present neighborhood because they thought there were good quality schools in the area, it is more likely that the teens' friends will have more positive qualities. Should Parents Express Their Disliking?Parents may not be able to appreciate all of the teen's friends. But they should not express negative judgments which are more of a reflection of their own insecurities and anxieties. If they are put off by the appearance or the dress-sense of some her teen's friend, they should think twice before expressing any negative judgment; remember, there is a generation gap! May be, with time you might start liking some of her friends whom you find to be weird at the moment. But when parents notice a friend whose behavior and personality rings alarm bells in their minds, then they must express their apprehensions to the adolescent – in a manner that is matter of fact, rather than reactive and judgmental. Find a quiet time and talk calmly with your teen: you might tell him that her new friend is not very bright and sharp as she herself is. Is there something that she sees in her? Your composed expression might encourage her to open up with you. Perhaps, she will not accept any negative things about her friend at the moment, but it might start her thinking. With time, she may be able to judge her friend with a more mature outlook, and start making correct choices. Confrontation, mostly, generates reactive behavior in adolescents, and should be avoided. Ways should be found so that communication channels are opened, and remain opened. Make Your House A Welcome Place For Teen's FriendsYour teen is getting older and learning to make his own decisions, including who he hangs out with. The best way to influence your teen’s choices is to make sure you’re one of their friends too. Try to make your house a welcome and warm place for his friends, where his friends feel comfortable, and feel free to express their opinions. Be familiar with them, without getting 'chummy'. Make them feel that you are their friend too, albeit a senior one. This is the best way to gain the real understanding of your teen's friends. Invite them to family functions; introduce them to other family members. You must talk to your child about the values that the family expects them to follow. Tell them that you respect their freedom but also that there are pitfalls to too much freedom.Remember, your relationship with your child during his adolescence determines, to a large extent, the kind of personality and relationships he is going to have in future. Fix Your Child's Attitude Further Reading Teen Stress - How Not To Handle it Reading Teenage Stress: A Guide To Their Parents Teen Stress Management: A Guide to Parents and Teenagers Stress Management & Relaxation Ways To Improve Self Esteem In Children How Does Stress Affect a Person....How It Affects You? Back to HOME from When Your Teen's Friends Give You Jitters... Sponsored Links
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