Deciphering Teenage Stress: A Guide to Teens & Their ParentsSymptoms of Teenage Stress If you have a teenager at home and he or she is exhibiting one or more of the following symptoms, it is just the right time that you take a second look at him –
These days, when even adults are buckling under the burden of stress, teenagers cannot be far behind: they are entering into the adult world after all, though they are not so mature right now, but they are exposed to the fallout of stressors affecting their more mature parent figures. Plus, they have their own peculiar reasons of getting stressed out – what with the bodily changes and their uncertain role in the social world, which they so self-consciously want to become a part of. This is teenage stress – the essential part of growing up. Causes of Teenage StressThe reasons of teenage stress can range from as mundane as ‘Does my haircut suit me?’ to as profound as ‘How can I give meaning to my life?’ On one hand the teenager is under considerable peer pressure, and on the other parents’ expectations have to be constantly negotiated. Let us try and see what goes on in the mind of a teenager – 1. What people think of me? Behind that rebellious or indifferent façade lurks this supremely important issue. This is perhaps the top stressor in a teenager’s day to day life. What do guys think about me? What do gals think about me? Do I look smart? Do I look cute? What do my relatives, teachers, parents, etc. etc. think of me? -- To get accepted, the teenager may try to conform to his peer group and take up activities that are harmful for him, like, smoking, drinking, drugs, or even casual sex. A teen with a positive self image and a strong self esteem will be able to resist such pressures while the one with low self esteem may do his best to ‘be like them’. 2. My dad wants a topper : Most of the parents want their children to be at the top. But, in their enthusiasm for making them high achievers they put tremendous pressure on teenagers. The reason of teenage stress here is two fold: the parental expectations and the awareness of teen that getting good grades in school gives her social acceptability. The teenager who is average or below average in academics comes under extreme stress and tension and may develop negative personality traits like shyness, withdrawal and lack of self confidence. 3. Don’t have no time : According to a survey conducted by Reuters two thirds of the teenagers in USA feel stressed-out at least once a week. From my own experience, I can say that situation may be even worse in India cities. The parents treat their children as pawns in the social game of chess. A teenager is expected to be an Einstein in academics, dance like John Travolta and be a Bruce Lee in martial arts. Teenage stress and anxiety arises with so many activities crammed into the schedule without taking care of his aptitude and natural inclinations. Schools, on their part, also give huge amounts of homework to the students. As a result the teen lacks clear focus, and is always in a hurry, thereby giving rise to stress and tension. 4. Relationships and conflicts : A teenager is in a transitional stage. He or she is acutely aware of changes in his family and social surroundings. If there are tensions in the family due to interpersonal conflicts, financial or some other reasons, the stress and anxiety is felt by the teen. With his as-yet imperfect understanding of the situation he may not be able to understand and cope with them. For handling teenage stress in these kind of situations, the parents must give some time to the teenager, and explain things to him. The teen should not be left alone with his worries and anxieties. Just a few words can give him enough consolation to carry on and give him strength to cope. 5. ”Do you really want to become like Michael Jackson?” : Queries about their future take the breath away from a teenager and are enough to give him a few sleepless nights. But, even if you don’t ask anything from him, he is already quite worked up about his destiny in future. What does he really want to become? Is he capable of doing that? Will be successful in life? Parents can act as their guides and mentors at this stage. Gently remind them of their strengths, guide them in overcoming their shortcomings, and try to help them find a path that is in consonance with their natural abilities. 6. When will this end? : A teen’s mind is in a state of turmoil, what with the bodily changes taking place, and other changes that are happening inside his mind. She may not comprehend everything. At this stage gently supportive parents can work like guiding angels. At least one parent should act as a confidante, a friend in need, in whom a teen can confide everything. Common sources of teenage stress might be choices regarding dress, smoking, drinking, sex, going out, career choices, etc. Further Reading Teen Stress to Burnout: How Not to Handle Stress in Teenagers Teen Stress Management - A Guide to Parents & Teenagers Teen's Self Esteem –- How Parents Can Help Them Teens Drinking and Driving: 5 Things Parents Should Do Understanding Anxiety Disorders: Is it Normal? When The Cause Of Stress Is Low self esteem Harmful Effects Of Traumatic Stress On Mental Health Guided Imagery: Write Your Own Script! When Your Teen's Friends Give You Jitters: Things Every Parent Should Do Back to HOME from Deciphering Teenage Stress
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