Teen Stress Management: A Guide to Parents and Teenagers

The Need for Teen Stress Management

Photo: Anissa Thompson

Teen stress management is a matter of concern not only for parents but also for teenagers. There are many reasons for teenagers to feel stressed, and because their minds are not mature yet, they need appropriate guidance on managing stress.

The common causes of stress for teenagers are –

• Problems with peers :Bullying, peer pressure, dating and relationship problems, pressure of peers for taking drugs, entering into sexual relationships, etc.,
• Problems with Parents :Differences of opinion, troubled relations with parents, etc.,
• Studies and school : Problems with studies, teachers, not getting desired level of guidance in subjects where the adolescent feels less confident.
• Change in place :Change of residence or change of school can bring about large doses of stress in a teenager's life .
• Family problems :Financial problems in the family, troubled relationship amongst parents are often major causes of stress and anxiety for teenagers.

Parents' Primer to Teen Stress Management

Parents are concerned about managing teen stress in their teenaged offspring. But, what should they do? How should they help them manage the stress? How to nurture the teenager so that he grows into a mature person and lives a fulfilling life?

One thing is certain, to be able to teach stress management to a teenager, the parent himself should know how to manage stress in his life and family. Healthy families are the ones that feel like safe havens to the adolescents. Pause and think: Is your family like this? Can your teenager confess anything to one of the parents and feel good about it?

• Listen carefully: Try to understand the teenager's perspective. She is the product of his time and society. She is bound to be different. Even if you don't agree, listen carefully; and try to understand why the child is saying something. Only after listening and understanding carefully should you put forth your own point of view.
• Get to know about her life: You should frequently ask the teenager what is happening in her life. Ideally you should know the names of her best friends. You should have a fairly good idea of what is happening in her school or college life: what are her achievements and frustrations.
• Evoke trust: The teen should feel that he can come to you any time for any kind of problem, and that you will listen to him. It is a big relief for an adolescent that some grown up listens to him and understands him.
• Don't equate love with laurels: Teen stress management is about love and relationships. Don't be a parent who displays his child as a trophy. Don't drive him with your insecurities. Don't get him involved in so many activities that he suffers burnout. The teen should know that he or she is loved no matter what, and that it has no connection whatsoever to his accomplishments.
• Appreciation and criticism: If the teen makes you proud say so loudly. Shower praises on him. If there is a need to criticize do it constructively.
• Nurture her : Encourage the child to participate in activities that may be enjoyable to her. She may like to participate in sports, social work, or other school or college or social activities: understand her real interests and guide her accordingly.
• Togetherness and participation : Take part in enjoyable activities with the family. Discuss important matters with children along with other family members. Make the teen feel as an integral part of the family. His views should be respected, whether or not they are agreed with. Share good experiences with children, laugh a lot with them, and share jokes. Ask them about what is going on in their lives, offer your sincere views: merely listening is not enough; convey your involvement in the issues. Respect their sentiments. Don't downplay their hurts or joys. It is important for adolescents to know that their feelings are understood.
• Nurture Values : Family values should be conveyed to the adolescents. You must convince them, verbally as well as following them in your own life (this is more important) that certain values cannot be compromised with. The household duties should be clearly defined; children should also contribute in these chores. Teach them the importance of shouldering familial responsibilities; you must also tell them that their contribution is valued.
• Stress Management techniques : Teach your teen stress management and stress relief techniques, like yoga, exercise, meditation, deep breathing, walking, jogging, listening to music, relaxation techniques, etc.

Teenager's Guide to Stress Management

For effective teen stress management, it is important for a teenager to understand the value of taking control of life, and not take the easy option of flowing with the current. There are some effective practices that will enhance his self confidence and give him better control over his life.

• Eat healthy food, avoid junk food. Stay away from alcohol, drug abuse and smoking. A strong body has the strength to fight stressful situations, while weak body will fall ill. You need strength to get ahead in life. Neglecting body health is the deadliest sin.

• Exercise regularly, even if it is for a few minutes a day. Walking, jogging, yoga, anything will do.

• Learn techniques of stress management and stress relief, for example, time management, goal setting, relaxation exercise, creative visualization, positive thinking. Learn to relax. A relaxed body and mind is better equipped to deal with stresses and tensions.
• Develop good relationships and nurture them. Learn the art of networking, understand its value. This is your support system that will come to your help when you need it, besides giving you a sense of assurance.
• Sleep well : Parties, disco, outing and all is fine, but taking a sufficient sleep helps you in keeping a fit body and sharp mind. A good night's sleep gives you the capability to deal with stressful situations in an appropriate and timely manner. You cannot expect a tired mind to come up with constructive solutions. Besides, lack of sleep lowers efficiency, reduces learning power and blunts the memory, giving you more reasons to be stressed about.
• Take a balanced view : Teen stress management is also about keeping realistic expectations and keeping in mind your strengths and weaknesses helps. If you commit yourself to too many goals, you are creating a sure recipe for tensions, and anxieties. Be realistic in your expectations and keep some time away for relaxing and enjoyable activities, even if it means spending an hour with other family members.

Teen Stress Management and Resilience

Resilience is the inner strength that helps one to manage stressful situations without getting excessively disturbed, and living the life with one's full potential. It is a set of personality traits and qualities that makes one resilient.

A teen should be guided to develop some of these qualities for resilience, which, briefly, are as follows –

• Build a supportive network of good relations – family, friends and others. Help them in need and ask for help when in trouble. Make your family your strength. Learn to relax at home no matter what. At least there you are at peace.
• Expect change. Nothing is permanent in life. Learn to see changes as progress and opportunities to grow. Adapt with changed circumstances. Accept the inevitable. Learn even from your defeats and move ahead. Also, remember, you will not each time. Some failures are inevitable.
• See things in perspective. Take a long term view. See problems and stresses as temporary in nature. Visualize yourself coming on top of all problems. Remember your past achievements. Take strength from them.
• You must take immediate action. Don't overlook or avoid looking at problems. Face them and then take action, even if it is going away from them for the time being. But take immediate action.
• Participate regularly in relaxing activities that are enjoyable and fun.

Good times will be followed by bad times. Bad times will be followed by good. Adverse circumstances develop strength in you. Protective environment is always harmful. Don't get used to that. Call this growing up (your age doesn't matter here, one always grows): make this growth an essential part of teen stress management – whether you are a parent or an adolescent.

Lastly, adult or teen stress management techniques are to be learned, and practiced. A human child is not born with these skills: they have to be learned.

Good luck!

Further Reading

Teen Stress - How Not To Handle it

Reading Teenage Stress: A Guide To Their Parents

When Your Teen's Friends Give You Jitters: Things Every Parent Should Do

Teens Drinking and Driving: 5 Things Parents Should Do

Teen's Self Esteem –- How Parents Can Help Them

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