Stress In Workplace Caused By Co-Workers' Nasty CommentsWhy Reframing Will Help You If You're An Abuse Survivor Stuck At Your Job~~By: Adam Appleson Stress In Workplace & Nasty Co-workersJim was a brand-new math professor who got lousy reviews from his students his first year on the job. He worked hard, and in a couple of years, ended up winning the teacher of the year award for his department at the yearly graduation ceremony. After the students were done marching up to give Jim hugs and compliments, a jealous colleague named Betty whispered, "Now that you're done winning popularity contests Jim, perhaps you can start to do some real work in the department." Jim was crushed. Betty was the senior most member of the faculty next to the department chair, she should have been happy for him. Instead, she made a nasty comment. Have you ever been treated like Jim before, and faced stress in workplace due to 'nasties'? If you've spent any time in a workplace, you may have encountered a nasty co-worker. People call them bullies, creeps, jerks, or any other number of names, but the point is they behave the same. For the purposes of this article, I'm going to give you a specific nastiness test so you can clearly know when you've run into one of these people. The test is this: after talking to the nasty co-worker, do you feel worse about yourself due to a demeaning, de-energizing, or publicly humiliating remark or action? If so, read on. The most dangerous nasties aren't the ones who scream or berate you loudly in front of others. It's easier to get those people to stop or be fired because their behavior is so obvious. The more dangerous nasties are the ones like Betty who have enough emotional maturity to do their backstabbing when no one is looking. Abuse Survivors: Vulnerable to Stress in WorkplaceIf you're an abuse survivor, it's important you learn to deal with these remarks. I think abuse survivors are particularly vulnerable to nasty co-workers because our past has conditioned us to put up with bad behavior. Nasty co-workers can really erode your self-confidence. One study showed that negative co-worker interactions had an effect five times stronger on your mood than positive interactions. Nastiness is also contagious. One study of hospital workers showed that those who had a jerk for a boss often became jerks themselves. The conventional way to handle nasty co-workers who won't change their evil ways is to find another job, move to another department in your company, or report the behavior to management hoping they will do something. But what if you're stuck there - either because of a bad economy or other circumstances? What if your management won't do anything (as is the sad case at many companies)? What can you do? It turns out psychologists have an answer. It's called reframing. If you can't rid yourself of a source of stress, changing your mind-set (i.e., reframing) about your experience can help reduce the stress in workplace. Research on a phenomenon called learned helplessness shows that when people view difficulties as a temporary setback, that they are not responsible for, and that won't ruin the rest of their lives, they help protect their mental and physical health. How To Reframe To Manage Stress In Workplace
Try Floating In A RiverOne reframing trick I've learned to cope with stress in workplace is to pretend I'm floating in a river when I experience nastiness. I think about myself pushing off some boulders in the river with my feet. I keep telling myself "float feet first." It becomes empowering and has helped me make it through many a nasty day with energy and confidence intact. Now of course, hopefully you're saying "but how do I get out of this situation?" The longer you stay with nasties, the more likely it is that you will become nasty yourself. That's why it's important to have a larger career goal out in front of you (and hopefully this larger career goal involves working with much nicer people), before stress in workplace brings you down. The power of this is that when you have a larger goal, you'll feel like your current situation is only temporary and it will give you some hope. Having this hope is important because it will make it more likely that you take consistent action to get where you want to be. Hopeful action propels you forward and out of your current situation. It caused me to update my resumé and find a new occupation. You May Have Been Treated Like Professor Jim BeforeBut that's no reason you have to continue to take it. If you can't leave just yet, reframe your situation. Have a larger goal out in front of you so that one day you'll be leaving all this behind helps you in taking action to change your current situation and makes it feel less stressful in my experience. Then one day, you'll be able to tell the story of how you kept your cool under ugly stress in workplace and successfully left the nastiness behind. Author Bio: Further Reading How Does Workplace Stress Effect Health? How Workplace Stress Affects Health The Stress Of Job Loss: How to Cope And Move Ahead Tips to Reduce Workplace Stress Managing Job Stress Caused By High Expectations Survive A Stressful Work Environment Without Losing Your Sleep How to Cope With Stress During the Financial Meltdown Coping With Stress With a Positive Attitude Meditation: Stress Relief Through Awareness Back to HOME from Stress In Workplace Caused By Co-Workers' Nasty Comments New! CommentsHave your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below. |
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