How To Cope With Stress And Anxiety

The Road To Happiness

Living a life without stress and anxiety may not be possible, nor desirable. Though you may not enjoy these emotions, you can learn to deal with them in a positive way. They are essential for your well being, as they force you to think about future,and take action.

--You study hard for your exam, you work diligently on your presentation, you prepare sincerely for the interview; or, in some situations, you throw down the towel and say, 'No, I can't handle it, let somebody else!' It's OK, you cannot do everything. Deciding not to take any action is also a decision that needs to be taken. It is not taking any decision that eats your heart out - quite literally!

But, when stress and anxiety are not taken care of and are allowed to go out of all proportions, they start eating at their own roots. Stress is like fire: if managed properly, it will energize you; else it will consume you.

Not dealing appropriately with stress and anxiety may lead to serious health problems like hypertension, upset stomach, and headaches; and psychological problems like anxiety disorder, acute stress, and panic attacks. You need to learn to cope with stress.

Here are the four most important things in life, that you must do to keep stress and anxiety in control.

1.. Raise Your Self Esteem

I consider low self esteem as a vital link in handling increased levels of stress. When you suffer from low self esteem you are always criticizing yourself. You feel that you don't deserve to be happy; you always think about what you don't have, or can't have. You are never satisfied with yourself, your present situation, your family and your job. Low self esteem makes it almost impossible to develop good relations with other people.

Low self esteem increases stress and anxiety in your life due to two reasons –

1. You subject yourself to self torture through negative criticism, and,
2. You are always anxious about gaining approval and acceptance from others

If you want to judge whether you suffer from low self esteem, then pause for a moment and honestly answer these: Do you consider yourself worthy of love? Do you remember the negative judgments about you more than the positive ones?

Photo: Joana Croft Peppers

If low self esteem is your reason for stress and anxiety in your life, then this is the first thing that you should attend to. Low self esteem will sabotage your all other efforts, despite your best intentions. But you may be pleased to know: nobody is born with self esteem; this is something which has to be cultivated. We all go through periods of low and high self esteem – every time we sink, we have to pull ourselves up.

Now, low self esteem may have become your second nature after years of self abuse, and you may find it hard to get out of it. It is advisable to get an expert's help who has worked the field of self esteem and anxiety.

Consider Core Inner Strength by Dr. Shirley McNeal - an excellent CD program. Dr. McNeal is a practicing psychotherapist for more than 30 years. She was the recipient of the 2003 Milton H. Erickson Award for Scientific Excellence by the American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. She is a respected name in the field of self esteem and anxiety relief. To know more about this program click here.

2.. Create A Supportive Circle To Cope With Stress And Anxiety

It is not difficult to understand that having good relations with people around you makes life easier. With a supportive circle of friends and relatives around you, your worries become somewhat less distressing, pains somewhat easier to endure, and it keeps anxiety levels down. It need not be an army of friends; having a few friends is enough. It is healthy also: merely sharing your worries is extremely important for your mental health; sometimes a willing ear is all you need.

Having a network of supportive relationships helps, because –

• It gives you a sense of security and belonging, and,
• It increases your sense of self worth, as you know that there are so many people who approve of you and accept you as you are.

Do you find yourself inept at cultivating good relations? Here are few hints that can set you on the right path. They are simple and commonsense, but, needless to say, need to be put into practice –

• Remain in touch. If someone has not called you for some time, take the initiative, and make a call, or make a personal visit. Emails are OK, but they lack that personal touch.


• Maintain a diary to list some important dates. Remember anniversaries, birthdays, important events of your friends and relatives, and wish them personally. See how it improves your goodwill.


• Take interest in their lives. Listen carefully when they share their concerns with you. Give your advise when they expect it from you.

Maintaining good relationships is important for your mental well being: take it as a small duty that you owe to yourself. Always remember that it is worth the time and efforts that you need to put into it.

3..Live a Regulated Life

Living a disciplined life is taking care of approximately fifty percent of your worries. You will greatly reduce stress and anxiety in your life if you take care of the following –

1. Right Eating :You are what you eat – a very important dictum of Ayurveda. In this fast paced life convenient takes precedence over important, and taste over health. With the easy availability of burgers, pizzas, ice creams and aerated drinks, caution is a casualty.

   Popular fast foods are highly processed and refined to make them last longer during their shelf life. They are not particularly good for health, and a heavy dependence on them is positively harmful-- making you prone to diseases like hypertension, diabetes and heart problems. Popular foods are often high in caffeine and contain large amounts of proteins: they will make you more alert, increase the level of arousal and make you prone to stress and anxiety.

   Give preference to foods high in carbohydrates: they keep stress levels low, naturally.

2. Regular Exercise : Exercise is helpful on many counts. It gives you a feeling of wellbeing and being in control. You feel good for doing something that is beneficial for you. On the other hand, exercise releases stress hormones like cortisol and norepinephrine.

   Extended periods of stress and anxiety often cause pains and cramps. They are produced by toxins trapped in your muscles. Exercise eases out these harmful chemicals from your body and helps you in getting relief from muscular pains and cramps.

   Exercising for 20 to 30 minutes, 3 to 5 times a week, will keep you in high spirits.

3. Regular Meditation : Meditation is something which anybody can do, notwithstanding the sense of mystery associated with it. There are a number meditations that have been recommended down the ages-- choose the one that is right for you. The positive changes brought about by the meditation are very much measurable and provable. The recent emergence of mind/ body medicine is a proof of this.

   If you are not meditating, you are missing something. When you meditate, you give your body, mind and soul a chance to come back into harmony. It heals your spirit. It brings down stress and anxiety and helps you lead life with more energy and positive outlook.

4. Relaxation : The worries and tensions are necessary parts of life. You cannot avoid them. Choose some activity that relaxes you – going for a walk; indulging in a hobby, like gardening, or music or listening to soothing music; or taking a hot water bath with aromatic oils - all these are helpful. You may try massage, or spa – anything that suits you and is readily available.

4..And Finally, Take Action!

Some people are prone to analyzing the situation ad nauseum. They examine the issues threadbare, slice it into neat logical parts and even prepare a complete action plan. They will do everything short of taking actual action.This might be due to their habit of procrastination, unorganized life style, not setting realistic goals, or maybe it is all due to low self esteem.

If you are afflicted with this malady of not taking action at the right time, you yourself are the biggest cause of stress and anxiety in your own life.

Understand yourself, and learn to take the right action, in the right amount and at the right moment. Time is something, which once gone, never comes back; it is the dearest commodity you have, learn to use it wisely.

Further Reading

When The Cause of Stress Is Low Self Esteem..

How To Boost Self Esteem With Positive Self Talk

A Guide To Building Self Esteem

Six Simple Steps To Relaxation Response

Practice Self Hypnosis for Stress and Anxiety Relief

Ways To Improve Self Esteem In Children

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