I am disappointed and frustrated

by Margarita
(Malaysia)

I am a lawyer. I am also married to a lawyer n have 4 kids.

I am very vocal, outstanding and a perfectionist whereas my husband is the opposite of me. But he's egoistic and can never listen to my views bcz he has too much of negative thoughts about my views.

But at the same time, he adores me for my advocacy skills, my wit n intelligence n my ability to speak fluent English.

My husband practices double standard with me n his family members. He will take extra care of his family but he will just shove me off if I am in need of help. He always feel that I can handle things myself and if I want him to help out I have to go by his rules. I cannot stand that.

I hate his sister n his mother, they were nasty to me during the early stage n say things that hurt my feelings. Due to all this problems I got myself heavily involved in politics to avoid myself from arguing with my husband but this politics eat me up.

After 11 yrs being active in politics, I feel like I've been used n taken far a ride by the top politicians n I feel so ashamed n frustrated at myself.

I cannot stand Malay people bcz they r stupid n lazy n do not take things seriously. They are easily bribed, they do not have any principle n can easily be bought. Apart from that they are so narrow minded n its so difficult to have a decent conversation with them without them feeling insulted.

What I want is basically to travel around the world, do not get annoying calls from my clients who keeps on asking the same question over and over again. I wished I married someone I used to admire and lives in UK now but I don't think thats possible n I don't know if he likes me the way I like him.

I am not in love w my husband anymore and if its not fr my kids and money, I would have long left my husband. I feel so bottled and stressed up and I don't know what to do.